Thursday, July 10, 2008

Amy Winhouse and Starbucks


According to the Capitalist Banter, Starbucks Corporation announced that it has struck a deal with singer Amy Winehouse to promote the company’s weakest-performing product: black coffee. “If there’s anyone who looks like she needs a cup of strong black coffee, it’s Amy Winehouse,” said Adelbert Fluglehare, Starbucks’ Vice President of Black Coffee and Plain Biscottis.

Amy’s first Starbuck’s commercial will be a before-and-after tale, showing videos of her staggering hung over into a store and attempting to punch out the barista, followed by a shot of her skipping out holding a venti coffee with the Starbucks label reflecting in her no-longer-bloodshot eyes. Subsequent ads will feature Amy in Jared-like poses: holding up empty gallon whisky bottles, huge ice packs and other things that drinking Starbucks black coffee has allowed her to give up.

For Amy’s music fans, Starbucks Entertainment is working with the singer on an update of her “Back to Black” CD called “Back to Black Coffee,” featuring all new songs like “Reheat,” “Me & Mr. Coffee,” “Tea Is A Losing Game” and “He Can Only Hold Her Latte.” The album will be promoted on a “Black to Black Coffee” concert tour, with stops expected in Seattle, Sumatra, Kenya, Columbia and Jamaica.

Starbucks is counting on the Winehouse promotion to increase the sales of black coffee enough to offset losses caused by the recently announced closure of over 600 stores.